


kiss, marry, kill, but we stopped at number two Vol. X

by Profundus



Series: kiss, marry, kill, but we stopped at number two [10]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Apparently I'm so shit at tagging that all my fics deserve the Heavy Angst tag I'm sorry, But they do communicate healthily in the end, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Heavy Angst, M/M, Mild Gore, Nightmares, Not sure whether or not this deserves to be tagged as Healthy Communication, Omega Verse, Post-Canon, Pregnant Sex, Really it's nothing graphic, Smut, oh right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 01:53:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29877309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Profundus/pseuds/Profundus
Summary: Again and again, the same nightmare.Hajime is going to make sure it doesn't become reality.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Series: kiss, marry, kill, but we stopped at number two [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2163891
Comments: 15
Kudos: 76





	kiss, marry, kill, but we stopped at number two Vol. X

He could do nothing. Helpless, caught behind a wall of glass within his own consciousness, banging on the paper-thin barrier that withheld his strongest blows as he screamed and threw himself against it over and over.

"Leave him alone! Leave him alone, get off of him! Don't touch him, leave him alone! Get over yourself! It wasn't your fault!"

The howls that resounded from his own mind were deafening, echoing in his head again and again as Tooru writhed and cried beneath him in a futile attempt to escape the fury of the Alpha holding him down, and yet Hajime could do nothing.

He could do nothing, he could do nothing, _he could do nothing._

How was this even possible? This was his body, this was his decision! Never before in his life had he felt so disassociated with his inner Alpha, this force in the back of his self that only ever demanded attention when he was in rut or when Tooru was in danger. And now Tooru was and he could do nothing because it was his own body endangering his Omega, and Hajime screamed in panic when he saw the blood that pooled onto the floor and noticed with horror that Tooru was slowly beginning to slacken in his body's grip.

"Tooru!" he roared desperately, bruising his knuckles on the freezing border between himself and his Omega once again. "Tooru, fight back! Don't let him do it!"

Tears were streaming down his face as he sank against the translucent wall and laid his forehead against it with the noise of a wounded animal. He saw his own hands wrapping around the slender neck below and they fit so perfectly, his thumb grazed the racing pulse beneath Tooru's sweat-slicked skin, and then he was pushing down.

For a moment, all Hajime could think through the tears was that hearing Tooru scream had to be the most painful sound in the world.

He took it back, because the silence that followed was even worse.

Bolt upright in bed, panting and sweating like he'd just been subjected to hours in the blazing sun, he reached for the comforting little ball under the covers beside him. Tooru always slept like a cat, bundled up as tightly as possible around one of his pillows, and lately, he always kept one hand on his belly as he slept. Before his hand could even brush the still sleeping Omega though, Hajime flinched back like he'd just burnt himself and stumbled to his feet.

No, no.

What if one day, it wouldn't just be dreams? What if he seriously lost control like he'd done for a split second back then when he'd gotten Tooru pregnant during his rut? He'd already scared him so much, how could he even dare to be this close to Tooru right now?

Still gasping for air, Hajime switched on the lights for the adjacent bathroom and bent down over the sink. His tongue was dry and rough like sandpaper, and it stuck to the roof of his mouth uncomfortably. The cold water from the faucet felt like heaven as it poured down his throat. He left it running, splashed his face and bare chest with it, and only when he felt calmer, he began to rub himself down with a towel to dry up the water droplets and sweat.

"Iwa-chan?" a sleepy voice suddenly snuffled from the doorway and he looked over to see Tooru standing there, bleary-eyed and wrapped up in one of his too-wide shirts that fell down all the way to his thighs. "What are you doing?"

He tried for a reassuring smile, although the Omega was probably too tired to even look at him properly.

"I just woke up and had to drink something. Did I wake you? Sorry about that."

Tooru yawned and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. His toes curled on the cold bathroom tiles.

"Are you coming back now? I don't like sleeping alone."

 _I know. You never liked it,_ Hajime thought as he threw the towel over the hamper and remembered a little body crawling under his sheets nearly every night of their childhood, shivering and only relaxing when his arms were wrapped around it protectively.

"Sure. Come on, don't stand around here. You'll catch a cold and get sick," he muttered and guided his husband back to the bed.

Still half-asleep, Tooru crawled under the blankets Hajime was holding up for him like a toddler being tucked in and snuggled up to his Alpha as soon as they were lying side by side. If he noticed that Hajime stayed tense all throughout the rest of the night, staring up at the ceiling, he didn't mention it, or he was too tired to question it.

The questioning began only during the next days when Tooru began to notice something that started to gnaw on him day and night: His Alpha was actively avoiding him. Not just his touches, also his presence. When Tooru was napping or watching TV on the couch with Dulce, Hajime excused himself to the gym on the ground floor of their apartment complex or his study to get some paperwork for the team done. When Tooru was cooking, Hajime went to do the laundry, and he said he'd stay up a bit longer when Tooru was already getting ready for bed. Always just trying to justify his sudden distancing behavior.

That was what rendered him most insecure – he only had to even hint at removing any of his clothes and Hajime was up and gone without giving him time to process his disappearance. Before, right after they had found out about the pregnancy, the Alpha had been insatiable. At every flash of bare skin, even if it was unintentional, he'd ravished Tooru wherever they'd found themselves right that instant, and sometimes the Omega had joked that at this rate, they'd have two pups.

Now, as he was nearing the end of the first trimester and was starting to show for earnest, Tooru had come to a painful conclusion: Hajime didn't find him attractive anymore.

His hips and belly were rounded slightly now, his muscles had softened up and he'd definitely put on some weight already. Shirabu had checked him out and told him it was fine, he was well within the usual limits of a male Omega's pregnancy, especially since Tooru had kept on his healthy diet with just a few additions here and there to get their pup the extra nutrients he needed.

Maybe Hajime thought it looked weird on him after knowing him as slender and athletic for all of his life.

The realization was hard to swallow, but Tooru took it without a complaint. Even though he was getting more and more restless on the baby's behalf from how long they hadn't slept together or even cuddled, he refused to bring it up with his Alpha, not wanting to make him uncomfortable.

More often than not, he found himself with his fingers or one of his old toys up his ass, the ones Hajime had originally forbidden him to use since they'd moved back in together. Their deal had been that if Tooru wanted some cock, he'd get it from Hajime one way or another. The toys were for them both to use when they were together, or when Hajime decided to watch. It had been ages since Tooru had been alone with one of them while his Alpha was just a single door over.

One time, Hajime had even stumbled in on him, eyes going wide and frenzied as they followed the beautiful arc of Tooru's back, the weak movements of his fingers between his legs that were never enough – but when Tooru had softly moaned his name, he'd stepped back and slammed the door to their room shut, leaving his Omega behind with a bitter taste of rejection on his tongue and his belly throbbing from the dissatisfaction over the shallow orgasm that could've been so much better if it had been the Alpha fucking him through the mattress.

Still, he denied himself the simple act of just bringing up the topic with his husband.

At least until the night Hajime suddenly stood in the doorway of the bathroom just as Tooru leaned against the shower wall even more and closed his eyes, whimpering at the sensation of being stared at from across the room. An embarrassing amount of slick eased his fingers deeper into himself when he felt his mate's sea-green eyes boring into him, through him, even.

"Go away," he sobbed and squeezed his eyes shut to pray Hajime would just finally break from his stupor and leave before something within him got out of hand and he jumped the Alpha to finally have his fill. "I… I know that you hate to see me like this, but I can't help it! Just go away, Hajime!"

The Alpha stood there, helpless, still staring, and suddenly, the vulnerability of his bare skin, damp from the steam and droplets of water, was not lost on Tooru anymore.

"Go away, Hajime," he repeated, but voice was shaking and in no way actually a demand for his husband to leave him alone.

"I can't."

"What do you mean, you can't?"

Hajime was being cruel, he was being nothing but cruel, and Tooru just wanted him to leave so he could put this away into the oblivion of his own mind and fall asleep to the hum of ongoing desire in the back of his head.

"I can't, Tooru. Not anymore."

Tooru broke down crying against the warmed glass door of the shower, and Hajime was by his side before he could even hit the floor. His strong arms wrapped around the Omega and pulled him close, so impossible close that even though the steam was diluting every scent other than the one of clean skin and conditioner, Tooru could smell the summer-sweet orange blossoms on Hajime's scent. It only made him sob the more.

"Spread your legs," the Alpha whispered suddenly, and then his hand was already searching and finding every single one of Tooru's sensitive spots with a precision that might be frightening if the Omega hadn't been so damn relieved when those slender fingers sank into him and stretched him open as hard as they could.

His cries were only muffled by the damp fabric of Hajime's shirt, and his hips jerked erratically at the sensation of finally being touched after weeks of being starved for even just a tender brush of skin from his mate. His hole clenched down tightly on the Alpha's hand, he could feel himself screaming but couldn't hear a thing through the white static in his mind, and then his orgasms hit in such quick succession that he barely got to breathe in between them.

Every shift of pressure on his prostate sent him into new spirals of agonizing pleasure until Hajime finally eased up on him and his fingers just lazily traced the hot insides of Tooru's walls with caution to avoid the sore, overstimulated spots.

"There you go baby, such a good boy," he muttered and pressed a longing kiss to Tooru's wet hair. "God, you came so hard. I don't think you've ever screamed for me like this before. Can I pull my fingers out?"

"N-No!" the Omega whined softly and rocked his hips down. His knees hurt from being pressed against the hard tiles, but he wouldn't let his Alpha get away so quickly now that he finally had him. "Please, Hajime, more, I want—"

Before he could even finish, the fingers inside him moved again, curled against his prostate, and Tooru felt his teeth leaving sharp indents in not just the shirt but also Hajime's skin beneath as he desperately tried to muffle another high-pitched whine when he came again. His muscles contracted violently and this time, the tremors only ebbed away when Hajime carefully held him against his chest and began to thrust into him again.

With the desire that had been leaving his mind an utter mess finally being worked out of his system, Tooru began to sober up. He slowly lifted his head from where he'd pressed it against Hajime's shoulder.

"You… you don't h-have to do this," he whispered at long last. "I know that you don't… you don't like my body anymore, but I promise, I'll do my best to get pretty for you again once Ayano is here. Just… just don't cheat on me, please."

His tears were quickly dried up by a finger on his lips, and then Hajime's dark eyes were hovering over him.

"If you ever say something so ridiculous again, I'm going to have to chain you to the bed and make you swallow your words," the Alpha whispered against his ear. The hot touch against the sensitive shell of his ear made Tooru squirm. "I wouldn't cheat on you for all the money in the world. And you've never looked more beautiful to me. God, Tooru, you have _no_ idea how many times I had to stop myself from waking you in the middle of the night just so I could touch you. How much effort it costs me to not slam the door down and fuck you when you're crying my name while you've got your pretty fingers up your ass, probably imagining and wishing it were my cock."

Tooru's breathing sped up rapidly, his chest heaved.

"Then why didn't you? All… all those weeks, you avoided me like you hated to even look at me!" he whispered. "And now you're telling me all this? Why?"

A strong hand caught his chin and turned it towards Hajime so he had to face his Alpha with no possibility to escape the intense, heated glare that was so dark with lust that Tooru shuddered. The assurance that nobody else would ever be on the receiving end of it didn't exactly help with the possessive despair that was coiling in his stomach.

"Later. Let me touch you. I can feel how much you need it, and it won't be good for you or the baby if I try to ignore you any longer."

His fingers twisted inside Tooru, at once meeting ever sweet spot in reach, and the Omega's mind went blank from then. Gradually, the orgasms were spaced further apart, but they didn't lose a single bit of their intensity. By the time Tooru had come for the at least fifteenth time and his hole still clenched painfully when Hajime tried to pull his fingers out, the Alpha groaned.

"Are you going into heat? I thought for nine months we wouldn't have to think of that!"

Tooru sucked in a deep breath to clear his thoughts for a moment, just enough to convince his tongue to move.

"Shirabu-chan… he… h-he said I might… I might have a brief heat drop somewhere around the third month," he whimpered and rocked his hips forward, hungry for that bursting pleasure Hajime was so capable of giving with a single movement of his wrist. "To make s-sure I'm really pregnant or… or something— ah! Hajime, please, _please—"_

His hands were tugging at the Alpha's shirt, trying to pull him on top of him, but Hajime resisted with a brief growl that made Tooru stiffen up quietly. He only whimpered once when his mate got up and grabbed one of the towels from the heater to throw it around Tooru's bare shoulders.

"No. We're going to bed now," Hajime ordered and hoisted him up. Even so, he couldn't pull himself out of the hungry kisses that haunted him all the way into the bedroom, and when they slammed down into the mattress, he quickly rolled them over so Tooru was straddling his waist.

The Omega pouted.

"You're so lazy. Are you really going to let your pregnant husband do all the work after leaving him waiting for you so long?" he complained while bracing himself on Hajime's broad chest and rolling his hips down against the Alpha's hard cock that was only separated from his damp skin by the pants his mate was wearing.

"You either take it or leave it," Hajime snarled and grasped his waist to run his hands over the soft curve of Tooru's belly. Not that he would've allowed Tooru to get up now. He was just as desperate as the Omega in his lap, if not more so, and when Tooru finally managed to push his sweatpants down far enough to free his cock, he groaned softly at the warm hand wrapping around it.

"I'll take it," Tooru whispered, having apparently regained some of his arrogance, now that the relief he'd been craving for so long was finally in sight.

He raised himself up further on his knees and sank down on Hajime's cock with a shaky exhale, relishing in every inch of the tight stretch, and the Alpha's soft growls beneath him only made him smile the wider.

"Feels good?" he asked with a smug grin and rocked his hips forward in the soothing knowledge that it was just the right angle for Hajime to hit his prostate dead-on.

"You've got to be kidding," the Alpha groaned and knocked his head back into the pillows. "Fuck, you're so tight, baby! Feels so fucking good, Tooru, so fucking _good—"_

Tooru's laughter drowned in his sweet moans and whimpers as Hajime thrust up to meet the smooth movements of his Omega's hips and force his beginning knot in as deep as possible. He felt Tooru shudder on top of him when the sensation struck. The hazel of his eyes was almost black, and Hajime smirked at the sight.

"Feels good?" he retaliated, earning just a weak chuckle from the Omega before Tooru leaned down and pressed his lips to the Alpha's ear.

"Feels fucking amazing."

His voice was roughed up by how much he'd been crying for his mate before already, and the sound sent shudders of ecstasy down Hajime's back. Groaning, he slammed up into the tight, wet heat of the body above him one more time, barely able to pull back from how much Tooru clenched down on him to keep him inside. The desire to just flip his Omega over and fuck him for real until there was nothing on his mind but Hajime's name was almost unbearable, and slowly, Tooru's movements began to grow erratic and unsteady, his thighs quivered from the exertion, and the Alpha snarled deep in his throat. 

"Hajime— please, I want you so much!" the Omega whimpered, still tearing helplessly at his husband's shirt to try and get him on top of himself just how he loved it, enveloped in those strong arms and subjected to the rough thrusts that never failed to make him come so deliciously hard – but Hajime didn't even heed his soft cries, only kept him in place and purred for him to calm him down.

"It's okay. Just this time, alright? I want you to come like this, I want you to come on top of me."

His hands had long since restricted themselves to clawing the bedsheets, nearly tearing the fabric to shreds by force. Suddenly, Tooru stilled on top of him, his lids fluttered, and he came with a weak, broken moan, gushing slick all over Hajime's cock, easing the Alpha even deeper inside of him, and they were both whisked away to a sea of pleasure as Hajime fucked another orgasm out of him alongside a few quiet purrs and whimpers.

Tooru's arms wound tightly around his Alpha's neck with a soft keen of his name, and Hajime came with a growl that only made the Omega in his lap spasm even more and drop his weight down to take him deeper while he pumped him full of his hot seed.

Slowly coming back from his high, Hajime lifted one hand to cup Tooru's cheek, the other gently stroked the Omega's swollen belly, even though he was still panting himself.

"Are you okay, baby?" he muttered. "Tooru, talk to me, baby, come on. Tell me you're okay."

"I'm not!" Tooru blurted out in response and shoved his hand away to replace it with his own, his teeth were bared in a ferocious snarl. "You get no right to touch me like this! Not after you pushed me away for so long! I want an explanation, and it better be good, you idiot!"

Startled, Hajime couldn't do anything but stare up at him. He wasn't sure what had prompted this sudden outburst, but Tooru was right. He deserved to know why he'd been neglected again even after Hajime had promised he'd never allow it to happen again now that they were together for the first time in years.

Still, he had to swallow his apprehension down quite a few times before he could speak.

"I'm… having dreams, Tooru," he finally managed to choke out, and it sounded lame even to himself, so he wasn't surprised when the Omega scoffed in disbelief.

"Dreams?"

"Nightmares. About… about myself."

Slowly, Tooru began to relax, and when he saw the anguish in his Alpha's eyes, he even gave a tentative purr.

"What do you mean? You're having nightmares about yourself, what's that supposed to mean?" he asked quietly and ran his hand through Hajime's hair, tangling the soft, dark strands between his fingers.

Hajime turned away from him.

"I'm scared of myself, Tooru. And I'm scared for you. I wake up nearly every night from a dream where I'm hurting you. You or the baby or both of you, and I can't stand the thought of… of ever doing that for real. I'm scared of touching you and hurting you somehow."

For a moment, Tooru was completely silent, only his other hand came down to cradle his belly too as he pondered the words. His fingertips left fluttering touches on the sensitive skin while he tried to stop himself from imagining how it would be to lose their child because of Hajime. He didn't want to. Nothing in the world could be as terrible as that.

"But… you wouldn't do that, right?" he asked desperately when his mind wouldn't quiet down, now that it had been fed with such nightmarish pictures. "Hajime, you'd never hurt us, I know that. You… you love us, right?"

"Of course I love you, you can never doubt that, please!" Hajime muttered and sat up to press his forehead against Tooru's chest. "I love you two more than anything in this world, I'd die for you! But when I was in rut back then, I was so angry at you for not calling me and I was angry at the guys who hit you and I was angry at myself for not being there to protect you, and I couldn't control myself anymore! What if that happens again? What if I go into rut and hurt you on accident? Or Ayano? He's so… he's so fragile, I'm scared anything I do could hurt him in some way! Every night in my nightmares, I see you bleeding beneath me and I'm trying to stop myself but I can't because somehow I can't control my body anymore and you… you die every night and it's my fault and I just—"

Tooru had hugged him tightly and stroked his hair in slow, reassuring motions. For a long time, he just focused solely on the man in his arms, purring and humming softly when the tremors in Hajime's body got too strong, and finally, when they were both too exhausted to care about cleaning up anymore, their blankets enveloped them in a safe, comforting cocoon that Tooru began to build around them. Hajime watched him sluggishly. Tooru was nesting for him, he realized with the last of his coherency, and then the Omega pulled his head into his lap and resumed to stroke his hair once more.

"And now you're scared that could actually happen, so you avoided me, hm? Oh Hajime. Why didn't you talk to me? We can speak to each other about the things we're afraid of, no? You can trust me. I'll be here for you, whether or not I can help. Even if you just need me to listen to you, I'll be here. You can talk to me about everything. If I'd known what was bothering you, I might have been able to help you better."

His voice was soft and as time passed, it began to lull Hajime to sleep for earnest. Every bit of agitation had vanished from Tooru's scent, and it was just as sweet and comforting as Hajime remembered the one of his mother to be.

"I'm sorry," he whispered with dying voice. "I'm sorry for not taking care of you."

"Don't be, silly. You were trying to protect us because you love us. That's all I need to know," Tooru answered and leaned down to kiss his forehead. "Now sleep. We'll keep the nightmares away."

**Author's Note:**

> You people are literally the best I love you all so so much and you all can't even fathom how much I rejoyce at all your comments <3
> 
> Sorry for torturing y'all with angst all the time (ー_ー゛)
> 
> Oh PS whaddya guys say to a Viking AU? I recently restarted AC Valhalla and I had a great idea, don't know what's gonna be main pairing tho yet bc the dynamic would suit many of my OTPs but maybe some of you guys would enjoy a Viking-themed story?
> 
> Love y'allllllll (⺣◡⺣)❤️*


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